Thursday, January 27, 2011

poetry 101

In the evenings,
my neighbor and I nod
checking in on the state of ourselves, we inquire
and respond robotically,
he does not sound fine, and neither
am I, but it doesn't matter.
It's understood that there is no room for
more. Our insincerity hangs there, as
we fish for our keys
and then we shut our doors on it,
leaving it to dissipate in the warm butter circle of
streetlight.

My mother's hair curls out in two
even tuffs that are
perfectly symmetrical, when she talks
she looks like she could begin
flying, any moment, with a slight wiggle
of the ear.

My first poetry teacher talked of
the power of suspended images,
sans narrative. Day one he instructed us
on the end of the need for a story.
The next night he broke both his feet
at the Cat and Fiddle
stepping hard on a stair he thought
he saw. (He was wrong.)
He was
replaced.

Now I can't get it out of my head:
our tragic small talk, the streetlight circle,
the wings behind her ears.
All poetry.

It's distracting. I try not to
think about it, though. And I watch carefully for
staircases.

Friday, January 21, 2011

polish

these words are unpolished
like the way I feel
about you, not
mulled through yet
tumbling, though, heavy
through the day they will whir
and knock against other words,
until I return home
exhausted and sore
from the clunking concepts
on spin cycle
inside me
(it's always like this, especially
mornings)
and sift through
in search of something
smooth.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

wholly.

Sun, morning, spills
Yolk of the world, breaking
over me, sizzling.
The bare bulb behind the stove
softening the whiteness of dawn.

God, I hide my face
from your Holiness. I know.
Besides, I've received
all the guidelines, drawn neat,
and I fall outside.

So I watch Your mountains
tinge pink and green and white
and writhe at
my independent wretchedness.

Isn't this, too
(coffee-soaked confessional of a morning)
Holiness?

No, I'm not boasting of it
What then, shall we sin more?
No, I am just
thankful for
grace and the mountain's graciousness
abounding.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

full&complete

On what should be beautiful days of rest, like this Saturday morning, I find my mind moves at its fastest. Is anyone else like this? The first real spot of peace, and I'm off in a million directions: clubs I could start at work, poems I ought to write, books I ought to re-read, friends I can't believe I lost touch with, goals and accolades which I ought to eventually work for, places I should move, letters I've got to write. Mind you, I'm not working on anything this morning, I am simply dreaming, reading a book and drinking coffee. So it's not a productive musing. It's chaotic and guilt-inducing. And mostly, annoying.

A few Januaries back, I resolved to pause for a full and complete stop at every single stop sign. (I live in a town with no traffic lights, so the resolution was sure to be tested.) It was not only tested, as most resolutions are, it fell completely by the wayside (as most resolutions do) and the result of that was a horribly wasted day last spring, slogging through the slowest online traffic school in the history of the World Wide Web.

The goal of my failed resolution was to give myself the reminder to stop. Just stop, even if only for two seconds of the day. The hope was that this habit would work its way into other areas of my life.

I'm invoking the spirit of that failed resolution this morning, to give myself permission to just roll back and feel that pure moment of suspension before I continue racing forward--sip my third cup of coffee, (oh right, my resolution to give up caffiene? failed.) look up at the mountains, and be alright with a full and complete stop.